Overthinking is a topic I frequently coach on for casual online clients on Reddit and committed 1:1 clients alike. For us to think about overthinking, we have to see that there must be an appropriate amount of thinking and consequently underthinking.
Of course some people are bound to have an underthinking problem, but the discourse around problems when it comes to thoughts is largely centered around overthinking. So what is it about overthinking that makes it a problem, and how do we hopefully stop overthinking?
Fixing Symptoms
I like developing a balanced view around fixing symptoms and fixing root causes. But too many times we aim to solve for the former. This makes sense though, given how we generally think about problems. If you have a cold, what can you really do outside of rest and taking painkillers or fever relievers? Since the common cold has no complete cure we manage its symptoms.
But in cases like having strep throat we need to not only manage the symptoms but treat the underlying bacterial infection. Without antibiotics you'll have strep for a long time and it can develop into a more serious illness.
It's important to be able to distinguish between something we have to manage vs. something we have to take care of at the root cause level. In dealing with overthinking, which approach should we take?
The Real Cause of Overthinking
Since there are many ways to manage the symptoms of overthinking, let's talk a bit about what causes overthinking. Overthinking is what coaches frequently call "buffering" — it's something you put in between you at the current moment and the action you're hesitating to take.
This is perplexing because you know the action you're hesitating to take is an action that's good for you, but in your lived life you prefer to think instead of taking action. There is a big difference between how you THINK about things and how you ACTUALLY feel about things.
We all know that working out and eating healthy is good for us. This knowledge sits in the cognitive brain where logic and reason live. Our actual lived life keeps on encouraging us to stay on the sofa and watch another episode of the show. It's the "us" that keeps on pressing the snooze button until we eventually angrily get out of bed or smash the alarm clock.
Stopping Overthinking Vs. Starting Action
What many people misunderstand and have a difficult time conceptualizing is, overthinking actually has nothing to do with your ability to take action. Every time I hear someone tell me that they have an overthinking problem, I reply back with "that's completely fine". Why? Because it is fine. It's like saying you have the gene that gives you the ability to roll your tongue sideways. It is what it is.
I know it feels completely ridiculous and impossible, but that's the reality because there's actually nothing preventing you from taking action. So if you're having an overthinking problem, what you might actually have is a lack of experience in starting something without motivation.
Tying this back into the head-heart divide, the more you connect to the ACTUAL reason why you want to do the action (instead of "I should" or "I need to"), the more effortless your actions will be. There is nothing that can stop a person from doing what they really, really want to do.
"Just do it" has a bit of a bad ring to it. It sounds oppressive, uncompassionate and unloving. You could interpret the message that way, for sure. But the reason why I always encourage my clients to "just do it" is, I'm asking you to believe in your ability to do it and see beyond your perceived limitations.
It doesn't require a specialized set of knowledge that you need to go to grad school for. It doesn't require you to get a license from a governing body. It just requires you to believe, and do. Everything else is an optional thought to consider.